The Winter Den

"Taru, Altair has Pnuemonia. It's from the panther, and I'm most likely infected too. I need you to go, search the territory, and get large amounts of Echinacea, it's a pinkish red flower, and Red Clover. I'm getting Altair to the den, just throw them in once you have them."

This is going to hurt, Altair, I'm sorry. "



"You could have left me in the snow. It felt good on the heat." Altair croaked as Silver lugged his weight onto her back.

With the snow gone, his body temperature grew slightly. With every step the Scholar took she brought forth a yelp from his battered body. After a while he had to close his eyes since the pain was too much. He fell unconscious before they reached the den and his breathing, as well as his heartbeat, slowed.

As Silver burst away from her, Mahina knew something was wrong. She sprang to her paws and followed the white female, she only caught up as Silver was carrying Altair away. "Altair?" She looked to Taru, a worried expression on her face. "What herb are we looking for?"

Elysia had been thinking, off in her own world of memories and thoughts. Due to that, she managed to completely miss Taru taking her leave of Maiara. When Elysia looked back, Taru was gone. Elysia stood quickly, dipping her head respectfully to Maiara. She looked between Maiara and Taru's scent trail and swallowed sheepishly. "I'll just go with Taru I think." Elysia quickly backed away, looking for Taru. She spotted Taru and Mahina standing outside of the den. The scents of Altair and Silver were faint, overlaid by the scent of rotting meat.

Elysia's stomach dropped like a stone and she paused, swallowing hard. Her eyes fluttered closed, hoping against hope that the scent came from a recent kill or something. She began to move again, breaking into a panicked sprint without quite realizing it. She reached the small group, finding Taru and Mahina. Elysia's ears pressed flat against her skull with fear. Her head bowed, she silently and slowly approached the group. Her eyes were wide with worry as she looked to Taru. Her tail swished slowly against her back legs.

"What happened?" Her voice was a hushed whisper. She felt like somehow, she always was just a little too late. A little too late to find Pallatsera and a little too late to realize the value of Versitha. Guilt rose in her. Things didnt look okay. And from the expressions on her companions' faces - they didnt think so either. Elysia looked to Taru for some indication of what exactly was going on.

Elysia nodded, settling herself beside Taru. She rested her head on her paws, her eyes glued on the entrance of the den. She could feel their heat on the wind, as Taru had. Besides that, there was the scent. So unnatural, but one all wolves knew and knew to avoid. Illness. Elysia didnt know much about pneumonia, but she knew it wasnt good. She wondered if it was contagious and safe for them to be so close. Then again, this was Altair and Silver they were talking about. They were pack mates, family. You didnt abandon family - Elysia had already made that mistake once. She shifted uncomfortably, pushing away thoughts of Versitha to concentrate on Silver and Altair.

She cast a sidelong glance at Taru, her ears perking slightly with curiosity. They were rabbit buddies, true, but Elysia knew almost nothing about Taru. Her list of information was very short. Taru liked to think she was big, self concious about her size. She tended to reject oxygen. She was perceptive. That wasn't enough to know about someone who may be your bonded through rabbits buddy. Elysia picked up her head, tilting it slightly to Taru. "Where do you come from, Taru?"

She blinked, wondering what Taru's reaction would be. Elysia wasn't fond of talking of her past, but that hadn't stopped her from asking Taru. Then again, even if Elysia told Taru everything about Pallatsera - it wouldnt matter. Taru was new, like Elysia. She had never known Pallatsera. Elysia blinked, a small smile curving her lips upwards. Taru only knew Elysia as Elysia, not as Pallatsera's Sister.

Elysia picked up on Taru's behavior immediately. It was a behavior Elysia often engaged in. The nervousness, the suspicion, the want to distance oneself. Elysia slowly lowered her head back to her paws, saying nothing more. She laid there for a good minute, her eyes staring straight ahead at nothing at all. Taru had made her feel accepted, a pal after so long of being literally alone. Elysia hadnt adjusted to social structures. But here she was, doing her absolute best. In a way, though she understood it completely, it felt like a rejection. She glanced at Taru who had moved away. Silently, Elysia stood.

She looked to Taru, speaking in a neutral tone. "I hope you will keep me updated on their condition." In that moment, her head held high despite her size and dissapointment, she greatly resembled Pallatsera. Her eyes were tranquil, her words formal and her movments graceful. She suddenly possessed a sort of regal air. She dipped her head to Taru, padding calmly away from the den. She didnt look back. Taru had the right idea. Forming bonds was useless. You lost them or they died. That was just how it went. Elysia was better alone. Perhaps without a pack at all. Elysia paused at the edge of the den clearing before padding and vanishing into the trees. She walked silently, her eyes straight ahead as her thoughts tangled around each other. She walked without purpose or direction, simply walking as snow began to fall.

Elysia paused in her walking, her ears perking. Wait, Ely the words were fading, but she was sure she had heard them. She paused, chewing her lip with indecision. It was Taru, she recognized her voice. She could go back and what? She would look desperate, weak, so many things that she was - or maybe she was but didnt want to acknowledge. Elysia almost turned back, but shook her head violently. She had options, but returning wasn't one of them. It was Taru who made the choice, who pointed out the truth that Elysia hadnt wanted to admit. Some, like Taru and herself, they were just better off alone. They were better at pushing those who wanted to care far away. Elysia plopped herself down, her head hanging.

It would be pretty easy to just vanish. She wasn't meant to be here. All she was doing was fighting Pallatsera's memory. She wasn't Elysia. She had only ever hoped that Taru and Altair, those who had never known Pallatsera, could see Elysia. But it was obvious that the world wasn't a place for relationships, it was why wolves dispersed. They were meant to leave all they knew. Elysia lowered herself onto her stomach, shivering. She rested her head on her paws, eventually falling into a light sleep.

"I can not swallow it Silver. It hurts so much." Altair's voice shook and sounded weak. The echo of his words bounced around in the cave before drifting out.

The ground of the cave was cool, but it was nothing like the snow. It heated up too fast for his body to suck in the cold and lower his internal temperature. Despite his warmth, he was shaking violently. He hadn't even noticed but his body curled up as tight as it could without harming itself. Like this he appeared small, fragile and very weak. Taru's and Elysia's scents hung outside of the cave. Even in his state he noticed that Elysia's had begun to weaken.

"Elysia don't go, please." He coughed and his body shook with blinding pain.

Altair could sense that Taru had left. He knew it before her scent vanished from the crisp air. Why she had left he was uncertain of. Though he wasn't about to get up and chase her like he had only a day before. It seemed like forever ago that he, Taru and Elysia had run in the forest together. They all had been so relaxed with each other's company. It had almost been like they were friends. He did consider the two fae's as friends but he was not sure about their lists. To them, he could be an simply someone they now know.

He coughed once more and winced when he heard the sound of it. It sounded like blood was building up somewhere in his lungs though he knew that it was some sort of liquid that this illness caused to well up. Luckily, he had caught the sickness before Silver; the pretty silver coloured fae was able to treat herself before it truly set in and caused her to suffer like he was. If only one were to live he hoped it was Silver. Unlike he, she had been in the pack for at least a year; she had real friends who would miss her and a mate who loved her. He, on the other hand hadn't even joined yet and didn't have friends that he was aware of nor did he have a mate or someone who loved him.

I'll die alone. Like brother did. With that thought he looked outside the cave. The bright white of the snow was harsh on his eyes but he didn't mind. This pain hurt less.

"How are you feeling, big fella?"

Altair's pale amber eyes were drawn up to Taru's face. The pretty dark coloured fae was acting calm; he relaxed slightly. Slowly and painfully, he drew his paws under him. He pushed his suddenly heavy body upwards until he was in a sitting position. His limbs shook and his heart beat faster. It hurt but he had to show that he was strong until the end.

"Elysia will be back, I promise. She said she would check up on you," the tiny female reassured him, flashing another calm smile, "Cause thats what friends do."

A ghost of a smile played on the corners of Altair's lips before disappearing completely. He had to focus on staying upright and focus on that only. Otherwise he would most likely collapse. His vision was slightly blurry but he did not allow himself to lay back on the hot cave floor.

"Friends. It's good to know I have some," he spoke slowly. He tried his hardest to keep the tremor out of his voice but failed miserably. It was tempting to tell Taru about how he hated being alone but that was a secret that would not leave his heart again. Though, he had a feeling that Taru caught the longing tone in his voice at the word 'friends'.

Mahina padded into the den. What she saw made her ears drop. Altair certainly didn't look like the wolf she had come to know. "Oh Altair..." she sat beside the male, touching his muzzle with hers. Great Lupus let him be safe...

((Lame))

"I know how you feel,"

"I'd believe it. You've been alone for a long time too," Altair did not miss the fact that she lay down. Perhaps to show him that he needn't to sit up however he wanted to. He would not go down as a weak wolf.

"Oh Altair..."

His ears perked as he heard Mahina pad into the den slowly. He winced when he saw a shadow of an emotion cross her face. Was she afraid for him? Or was so afraid of him? The latter was immediately erased from existance when the pretty mottled brown-and-cream fae came forth and touched her muzzle against his. She felt nice and cool. Something he relished. She and Roo are definitely friends. I will not be alone.

Altair looked at the herbs that still lay untouched a little ways away from him.

"Probably not as long as you. I had Silence for awhile," Taru laughed a little, remembering the old, brittle female that had taken the yearling under her old wing.

Silence? Altair was intrigued and slightly surprised that Taru had even mentioned any part of her past. To him, she appeared as Elysia did. One of those wolves who craved the care of others yet was afraid to become too close. To lose a wolf that one became close to was a very difficult time indeed. He, too, had closed his self off to others for sometime. However, the desire to have another's company beside him had been too much to bare; he allowed others to enter his heart before crushing it. This didn't stop him from seeking out others. Taru and Elysia appeared to be afraid of letting themselves become crushed by another; Altair felt a stab of sadness for the two faes.

"Mahina, I think it could be contagious," she spoke softly, flattening her ears in submission.

The second he heard those words he looked at Mahina with alarm. A sudden burst of strength allowed him to leap sideways until he was away from the pretty fae. He did not want to inflict this pain on anyone. Not her nor Taru. Once he was a safe distance away from them both, the strength that flowed through his body evaporated and he barely held himself up. His gaze dark with concentration he looked at the ground.

"Altair, eat your herbs," she laughed, sounding like his mother or something. "Seriously, eat them, or how else will you get well enough to race me and Elysia again?" she grinned, then settled back to the snow.

Hearing that, Altair finally broke. "I-I-I can't. I-it hurts too much to swallow." He doubled over in pain. The shield he had carefully erected came crashing down and he slumped to the ground. He closed his eyes. He did not want to see the expressions of his friends. It would bring back too many memories.